Dad's Legacy of Disney Love

When I was a child, my family went on only two vacations.  Both were to Disney World in Orlando, FL. Although I was young, I have very vivid memories of those trips.  Swimming in the Polynesian pool in my crocheted bikini watching my dad come down the rock water slide, holding my Mickey head balloon, taking the boat ride to the Magic Kingdom where I couldn’t wait to ride Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean as many times as I could manage to talk my dad into. I remember small, seemingly ridiculous things like my brother and I getting ice from the hotel ice maker, seeing the birds on Discovery Island, wading into the water at River Country. I even remember eating those little boxes of cereal at breakfast every morning despite my father insisting I should eat something else. After all, he was paying Disney prices for those meals.

I don’t think, for a child, there is a more magical place on earth than Disney. Lights are brighter, senses are heightened, memories are etched indelibly into a safe place in your mind where they will become the standard by which all magic is measured across the breadth of your lifetime.

But it was that way for adults too apparently. My father was so inspired, so alive in those moments. He was wide-eyed with wonder and imagination. He was driven. He talked at length about packing up, selling the house, moving us all to Florida and becoming an Imagineer. It was his ultimate dream to design and create magic under the banner of Walt Disney World.

But my father was also a hard-working family man who felt the weight of that responsibility. To risk it all and leave his stable steel foundry job would have been an easy choice if he was single. But he had a family, a house, and the obligations of an adult to think about. So, we stayed in PA and his dreams were only realized through his Disney wood carvings and painting as a hobby in his free time. He lived his adult life only dreaming of making real Disney magic as he carved scenes from iconic Disney movies into an enormous wooden toy chest for me.

On our last trip, I sat in his arms on the monorail looking longingly out the window and said, “Daddy, one day I am going to live here at Disney and have a pet alligator.”  I think at that point my dad wanted to find a way for that to happen for all of us (minus the alligator).  But it never did.  At least not for him.

But through his eyes I would eventually build my own life around Walt Disney World (minus the pet alligator).  He would live to see me marry a man who was as alive with Disney magic as he was, and watch us pack up our car and move to Orlando. Over the last almost 30 years we would grow and create our lives together here immersed in everything Disney.

My father passed away in 2017 of stage 4 pancreatic cancer within weeks of his diagnosis.  He did not live to see the new Star Wars area come to life or to experience the 50^th celebration. 

A few years before he died, he booked an overpriced vacation package through a travel agency to come to Disney.  When I found out about it and did the mathematical breakdown, I realized he would have been paying over $1000 a night for a room at the Contemporary.  My pragmatic self informed him of this obvious absurdity and he canceled it.  I will regret that to this day.  I should have just let him be blissfully unaware of his financial blunder and let him live the dream.  Instead, we dumbed it down to a more budget-friendly mid-priced which although perfectly fine was not what he had, I am certain, envisioned.

It would turn out to be his last trip to Disney.  He had spent his entire life being practical and allowing that cautious frugality and over analyzation to keep him from living his own dreams.  And then he had me and taught me that. Then his words through my mouth would come back to haunt him apparently. 

I am trying very hard now as an adult who has found myself jobless in a pandemic and longing for something more, something bigger in my life, to find a path to my own dreams. I stand at this crossroad lost and unsure of how to move forward, trying to find a way to make my dreams my reality.  But I am burdened by the same weight of responsibility my father was, the same doubts and fears as he had. He would not want that to be his legacy.

I guess writing about Disney has become like my father’s painting and wood carvings - my outlet for the inspiration of Disney.  So, I will just continue to carve my words indelibly onto the page until I find a hopeful spark.  I often go to Disney just to walk around.  It is my sanctuary.  It is where I am most at peace and where I find the most inspiration.

My father passed down his passionate love of Disney to me so it is the least I can do to honor that in some small way through my writing.  I hope I do his memory justice. And I hope his spirit is with me every time I go and soak up the magic. Maybe someday I can turn that magic into something meaningful.